A Night In (ErenxLevi)
by RoxyMoxie
Summary: During a time of peace from the titans, Eren and Levi find themselves spending more time around each other than they used to. But when Eren starts to see the softer side of Levi, does something new form between them?
1. Chapter 1

I

Zoe had requested Levi's appearance in the Survey Corps meeting room. He wasn't sure what Hange wanted, but he got a headache just trying to think about all the possibilities. Hange was so utterly crazy that it could be literally anything with her. Levi had just finished riding on horseback to the castle located outside of the district, where they had spent all day cleaning a few years prior. Levi got off his horse and tied it to a post just outside. He was hoping this would be quick, but noticed the two other horses tied up and knew it was going to be a long day.

Levi knocked on the door to the Survey Corps meeting room. This was the same room Hange had spent hours of the night explaining to Eren all the information they had gained from research about the titans.

Zoe opened the door, letting Levi in.

"How nice of you to join us," Hange greeted as Levi strolled in. Levi noticed Eren sitting at the meeting table, and Eren gave a slight, shy wave. Levi turned to Zoe and stared intently at her.

"'Us'?" Levi repeated with a cringe.

"Oh, was it not clear what my intentions were?" Zoe asked. Levi sighed, placing his hand to his forehead.

"No, it wasn't," Levi grimaced. "You're intentions are never clear, Hange. And you didn't say anything about-" Levi glanced at Eren, who's expression was full of curiosity towards Levi's next words. "-Guests."

Hange clapped her hands together, smiling. "Well, if you must know," She grabbed Levi's wrist and dragged him closer to the table, motioning him to sit down. "I thought that since we're at a time of tranquility from titans, you could get more acquainted with Eren!" Levi sighed and dragged out the chair from the long table. He sat in it, leaning his back low on the backrest and crossed one leg over the other informally. Levi noticed Eren's confused expression, and figured Hange had probably told Eren even less than Levi himself. He sighed and glared over at Zoe.

"Alright, now why don't we start with some 3D Maneuvering?" Zoe beamed as she opened the doors and made her way outside.

"Fine," Levi sighed, getting up once again. "Let's go, Jaeger."

"Come on, boys!" Hange cried a few feet ahead of them. "Keep up!" The horses' hooves thumped against the dirt passage of the forest that surrounded the small stone castle. Levi sucked his teeth in response to Hange's impatience.

"You know, if you want us to bond so much, maybe it'd be a better idea if you _left_," Levi called out. Zoe laughed and pressed the lever on her handheld device. Two hooks shot out from her sides, and she flew off her horse and into the air. Reluctantly, Levi picked up his own handheld device and looked back at Eren.

"Come on, Eren," Levi said, almost growling. "Let's bond."

As Levi and Eren flew through the air, they didn't catch sight of Zoe anywhere. She was in front of them moments ago, and then suddenly she was gone. Levi was almost certain he could hear her insane laugh somewhere off in the distance, but it didn't even bother him anymore. It just annoyed the shit out of him.

"Come on," Levi called to Eren. "Let's just head back."

"But commander Hange-"

"_I'm _your commander right now," Levi snapped. "And I say we head back."

"Yessir," Eren cried, following Levi back the way they came.

They found their horses waiting patiently back where they first took lift into the air. The trained horses were property of the Survey Corps, but ever since the calm of titans washed over the districts, it'd been a lot easier to find their horses without worrying about them getting spooked. Eren and Levi hopped up onto their saddles and rode back to the castle leisurely.

"Commander Levi," Eren interrupted the calming silence of the ride. "What, exactly, was the point of that drill?"

"It wasn't a drill, brat." Levi sighed. "It was Commander Hange being an idiot."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Eren rode next to Levi, looking at his expressionless face. "That Hange's an idiot?"

"Of course I do," Levi replied. "And if you value your life, you would, too." Eren became quiet and didn't meet Levi's stare.

They could see the stone castle in the distance, and noticed Hange's horse hadn't returned. They rode closer and got off their saddles. Levi looked around, but didn't see any trace of Zoe.

"Shit," Levi cursed under breath. "God damnit."

"Where's Commander Hange?"

"She left us here on our own," Levi sighed and tied up his horse once again. But Eren, however, didn't leave his horse's side.

"Shouldn't we go look for her? She could be in danger!"

"This area is completely sealed off from any titans," Levi whirled around and stared at Eren. "She wanted us to spend some of our downtime with each other." Levi crossed his arms and leaned back in a condescending stance. "If we look for her, she'll keep running. If we stay here, she'll get worried, tired or hungry and wander back. So," he turned his back and walked to the castle, opening the wooden doors. "We're staying here." Eren quickly tied his horse and followed after Commander Levi.

"Hey, Jaeger, want some tea?" Levi brought in a tray of steaming cups of black tea. Eren nodded.

"Yes, thank you." He stuck his index finger inside the handle and placed his thumb atop the handle, using his other fingers to support the bottom of the tea cup. Levi, however, held the entire cup by the rim of the glass. He got in the same position as he had before, leaning back with one leg crossed over the other. Eren sipped his tea, trying not to make it obvious he was admiring his corporal. He thought Commander Levi was to calm and cool, always collected and keeping his emotions under check. Eren, on the other hand, was constantly frustrated at how easily he was angered and lost control of his emotions. He often felt as though he was just troubling to his teammates. Eren hadn't even realized he was showing his melancholy emotions, until Levi had called to him.

"Eren," Levi startled him slightly, and Eren flinched. "What's that look on your face?"

"Huh?" Eren supported his tea cup with his other hand. Levi intimidated him a little bit, and his hands felt slightly shaky and weak.

"Just now," Levi took another sip of his tea before speaking, setting the cup on the wooden table afterwards. "You had this look on your face."

"Oh, it's…" Eren felt his face growing hot. How was he supposed to explain it? He was sure Levi didn't want anything to do with him. "Nothing; It's nothing."

"Bullshit," Levi leaned forward on the table, supporting himself with his elbows. Levi's hands were folded in front of him, resting on the dark surface. "Eren, it's my constant responsibility to make sure you're accounted for and taken care of. Are you not feeling well?"

"N-no, no, it's nothing like that," Eren shook his head and carefully set the cup down, adjusting himself in his seat. "It's just, you always seem so calm and collected, and I can never seem to keep my emotions under control."

"Remind me, Jaeger: how old are you?" Levi asked. Eren was surprised by his question. It seemed a bit random.

"U-um, I'm seventeen."

"That's what I thought," Levi took another drink of tea. Eren waited for Levi to add something, but he never did. Then Eren noticed Levi staring at him. Eren could feel his face growing hot, and glaced away from Levi.

"S-so," Eren cleared his throat, trying to steer the conversation away from himself. "How long do you think it'll be before Commander Hange comes back?"

"Dunno," Levi leaned back, crossing his arms. "It could be hours, days, weeks… hell, she could never come back again."

"What?" Eren stared at Levi in shock.

"I'm kidding," Levi raised an eyebrow. "Although knowing her, it's not all that crazy to think about the possibility."

"Oh," Eren leaned back, relaxing. He could never tell whether or not Levi was being serious or joking. He never showed any expression…

"In all seriousness, though, we'll probably be here for a while. Get comfortable, kid. Who knows- by now, she could be outside of Shiganshina. Maybe she fucked a 5 meter titan." Levi sipped his tea, his straight face not even wavering. Eren laughed nervously as he picked up his own cup of tea and sipped from it. It was bitter, but in a tangy, enjoyable way. It was strange.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm still not forgiving you," Levi muttered to Zoe. "We were waiting for you for over three hours. It was awful hanging around that spoiled brat." Levi and Zoe were walking through Trost. The district was bustling with people, and for the first time since the Colossal Titan appeared, things actually had a pretty positive vibe. Levi, however, found it slightly unsettling. Such a long-lasting calm seemed a bit too good to be true. He was almost certain the time of peace would soon come to a screeching halt.  
"Oh, he's not so bad," Zoe smiled, folding her arms behind her head and leaning back leisurely. "I think he's just been through a lot, you know?"  
"His mom was eaten, right?" Levi asked. Zoe nodded with a melancholy smile on her face.  
"I'm sure that the titan had a good reason," Zoe sighed. "They're so misunderstood."

Out of the corner of his eye, Levi caught a glimpse of a trio he'd known for years, now. He knew those three. Zoe looked in the same direction, and a smile spread across her face. Levi sighed as she began to yell and wave at the three of them.  
"Speaking of whom- Eren, Armin, Mikasa!" Zoe waved to them excitedly. Levi rolled his eyes at Zoe's display, acting like a child. She was embarrassing him. Eren, Mikasa and Armin all turned to see them. Eren smiled at Hange and waved calmly back. He made his way over, Mikasa and Armin at his heels. Mikasa glared at Levi, but he didn't even falter. He knew his intentions were to help Eren's case in court, and if Mikasa couldn't understand that, then that was her problem. Her stare only darkened when he acknowledged her. Levi got a slight thrill out of her hatred toward him.  
"Commander Hange, Commander Levi!" Armin smiled sweetly, and his blue eyes sparkled in the sun. "It's nice to see you! What are you two doing out today?"  
"We were just taking a walk!" Zoe replied before Levi even had a chance to respond. Levi looked over at Eren; his green eyes were glistening in the sun with a beautiful glow, giving their attention to Hange's conversation. Levi saw a small amount of melancholy in his bright eyes, and suddenly understood what Hange was saying. Eren was only 17, and lost his mother at 10 years old. Maybe he was being too harsh on Eren. The fate of humanity pretty much rested on this brat's shoulders, so maybe Levi should let up on the poor kid.

"Oi, Eren," Levi called out to him. Eren turned, slightly surprised. "Good morning." Levi tried his best to sound pleasant, but he still felt he was being bland. Nevertheless, Eren still gave a warm smile. Levi felt strange. Why did that make him feel so excited and so… happy?  
"Good morning, Commander Levi." Eren replied. As he finished greeting the corporal, his cheeks began turning a bright shade of pink.  
Suddenly, Levi found three new members to their little group. Armin and Zoe were speaking about different tactic possibilities for new missions, while Mikasa was walking alongside them, not saying anything at all. She just looked around, with her burgundy scarf covering the collar of her white blouse. Levi couldn't help but stare at the wrinkles and the parts of her collar that were peeking out from under her scarf. It seemed extremely sloppy.  
He turned to Eren once again, who was staring straight ahead, not saying anything. Levi walked ahead of him, turned to face Eren, and stopped dead in his tracks. Eren stopped walking, at first looking up at Levi, then turning away.  
"What are you doing?" Levi asked him. Eren's face turned bright red and his shoulders hunched up.  
"W-what?"  
"You're scared of me, aren't you?" Levi asked him. Eren furrowed his eyebrows in a distressed expression.  
"W-well, it isn't fear so much as…" Eren's voice trailed off. Zoe, Armin and Mikasa passed by and stopped, looking back at them.  
"Levi, quit pestering Eren," Zoe said. Levi sucked his teeth and turned, continuing to walk. Zoe sighed, placing her hand to her forehead. Eren looked from her to Levi, wondering if he was angry or disappointed.  
"Don't hold it against him," Zoe said with a sad grin, "he's had bad experiences with people."

Levi leaned against the wooden pillars of the Survey Corps stables, his arms crossed. The morning light had changed to the bright midday sun. Since Levi didn't want to be around Hange or Eren anymore, he had taken it upon himself to feed the horses. The day was hot during this time, and the stable smelled horrible. Even though he wanted to clean it, he had no materials with him at all. He would leave it to the Equestrians. Even though they left terrible messes, he still cared about the horses. He sometimes felt a bit bad for them; they were often in the crosshairs during battle, and they were such amazing creatures. But he never said anything to the other squad leaders. They'd never let him hear the end of it. He made his way over to a light brown horse with a dark burgundy mane. He stroked the horse gently.  
"Squad leader?" Levi heard a voice come from the stable entrance. The horse whinnied, but allowed Levi to continue petting it. Levi turned toward the entrance, where Eren stood, peeking inside. They locked gazes, and Eren's eyes darted away. "Er, squad leader Levi, Hange wanted me to find you."  
"She couldn't find me herself?" Levi asked. Eren didn't answer; he only looked down awkwardly at the hay on the floor of the stable. Levi sighed and brought a hand to his forehead. "Listen, why don't we just leave each other alone? I scare you anyway. It's fine."  
"You don't scare me," Eren blurted out defensively. Levi looked at him, shocked. "Or rather, unless you want me to be afraid of you, then…"  
"No, I don't."  
"Anyway, it's not that you scare me, you just… you intimidate me is all." Eren explained. Levi raised an eyebrow curiously. "Your ability to fight titans surpasses everyone and no matter how much I try, I…" Eren brought a hand to his face, laughing sadly. "I can't be as good as you. I want to wipe titans of the face of this planet, and I can't even fight titans the way you do." Eren made his way inside, sitting on a stack of hay that was set near a horse's stable. He placed his elbows on his knees and supported his head. Neither of them said a word to each other. Levi could tell Eren was really upset.

"You don't need to be like me," Levi said finally. "Just do your best." Eren looked up at Levi. His big, green eyes looked swollen and puffy, like they were holding back tears. Levi didn't meet his gaze- He couldn't stand seeing people in pain, especially not one of his squad members. He sighed and made his way over to Eren. Eren looked up at him curiously. Eren's heart skipped a beat as Levi wrapped his arms around him, hugging Eren. Eren's arms dangled limply, and his face felt hot. His breath was short as his head leaned on Levi's strong, warm shoulder. Tears came flowing through his eyes. He had never felt such kindness in a long, long time. Levi seemed hard and tough, but he'd never noticed what a tender, sweet man he could be. Eren let out a cry as he wrapped his own arms around his squad leader. He wept on Levi's shoulder, letting out his emotions he had kept hidden for so many years. Levi's hand crept onto Eren's hair, petting and stroking his soft, brown hair, letting him cry. As Eren's shoulders shook, Levi could smell the warmth on Eren's skin and his hair. He smelled so soft and soothing. Then he realized what he was thinking. No, he thought. I'm Eren's commander. It's inappropriate for me to be thinking these things. As Eren's cries slowly stopped, Levi gently pulled away from Eren. Eren's face was puffy, his eyes swollen. But Levi noticed his squad member's cheeks were flushed. 


	3. Chapter 3

Levi sat on top of his bed, unbuttoning his top. He couldn't stop thinking about Eren. He held Eren. He held him. He could still remember the way Eren's hair smelled, how soft his skin was. Levi couldn't believe he was getting flustered over his squad member. A commander falling for their squad; It was unheard of. And they were both men- two men together? Levi felt uncomfortable; he wondered what would happen if people caught wind of Levi's emotions for one of his comrades. He shuttered at that idea. It scared him, nearly to the point of tears. Of course, Levi wasn't opposed to homosexuality. But he had a reputation to uphold, and his peers weren't always the most mature when it came to matters like "love" or "relationships." Levi sighed, taking off his shirt and the intricate straps of the 3DMG. He laid on his bed, folding his hands behind his head.

Eren sat on the floor of his home, which he shared with Mikasa and Armin. They were both asleep, he was sure. But Eren was restless- anxious, even. He couldn't get Levi's gentle, delicate touch out of his head. The way Levi comforted him when he was upset, how Levi held him- it made Eren's heart skip a beat. He blushed just thinking about it. Eren covered his face, even though he knew he was alone. He had a crush on the commander for a long time, but he figured Levi hated his guts. Levi was always calling him a brat, sometimes even a piece of shit. But the way Levi had been acting the past few years just confused Eren. His first impression of Commander Levi was that he was a hateful, stone-cold leader. But the more time he spent with him, he learned more and more about Levi. He discovered his softer side. Before Petra had died, Eren remembered how she mentioned Levi wasn't as mean as he seemed. Then he caught word of Petra and Levi's relationship- before she was killed by Annie in her titan form. After Petra passed, Eren had conflicting emotions. He felt angry that his fellow comrade was killed, but hope to be with Levi. Then he felt awful for thinking of Petra's death as an open door that lead to being with Levi. Just thinking about it made Eren feel angry at himself. How could he feel grateful for his comrade's death?! Though, it wasn't complete gratitude. It wasn't that Eren was glad Petra died he just… Eren couldn't even come up with a way to sugar coat it. The only way he could get by was to push that thought out of his mind.

Eren sighed, leaning his head against the wall and looking up at the wooden ceiling. He shivered as the cold, night air blew open his window, the curtains billowing. Eren slowly stood, holding himself to keep warm as he made his way over to close the window. As he grabbed the window sides, he noticed how big the moon was. The sky was clear, each star popping and sparkling. Eren could see every individual star, since there was no light pollution in the town. The moon was bright and full, casting light over Trost. He closed the windows, locking them. Eren couldn't sleep; he knew he never would if he just lay in bed all night. He left his room, quietly, and grabbed a heavy jacket. He went outside, locking the door behind him, and walking into the night.  
Even though it was a chilly, windy night, the harshest of winds was blocked by the surrounding buildings. But even though the gusts of air didn't come in bursts, the air swept and swirled like water, bouncing off walls and swirling the leaves in small, delicate tornadoes. The world around Eren fascinated and enfuriated him. It was beautiful and aggrivating; he felt trapped and claustrophobic inside the damned walls. It was shamefull for humans to be locked away in fear of the titans that roamed the earth. Eren recalled to Armin's comment of seas of water filled with salt, and large wastelands of snow and ice, complete with freezing weather. Eren went into a trance, imagining a world where he could explore and just be free.

The dark-haired commander glanced, from where he lay on his bed, outside his window. The moon was at just the right angle to shine brightly into his bedroom, which was slightly annoying. Normally, Levi wouldn't be so ungrateful for the ability to see the moon's glow, but tonight he was too tired to care about the privelidge he had just to be above ground. He remembered the times when he was younger, living in the city the was deep below the earth. Levi and his two best friends- Isabel and Furlan- would spend hours looking at the sky through a hole located deep in a hidden cavern. The hole was large, but hidden enough that no one else knew where it was located but them. Nothing but hope and despair would circle their minds, hoping they'd get just one chance to smell the fresh air for themselves one day, instead of staring longingly at the everlasting blue sky.  
Levi sighed, getting up to close the curtains. The moonlight glistened on his black, well-kept hair, the shadows defining his hard-earned muscles. As he did, he saw a dark figure passing by beneath the the hell, he thought. Who the fuck is out this late at night? He focused as well as he could- his eyes trained to see well in the dark- and noticed it was, in fact, the man he had been thinking about, not just ten minutes prior. Maybe fate isn't bullshit, he thought, smiling to himself.

"Hey, Eren," Levi called quietly to his squad memeber, wearing a light jacket to cover himself. "What are you doing out this late?"  
"C-commander Levi!" Eren burst out, surprised. He could feel his face growing hot, his commander staring t him expectantly, awaiting for Eren to answer. "I... W-well, I couldn't sleep..."  
"Sleep is important, you know." Levi sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Eren looked at his hands awkwardly, trying not to stare. "You won't be able to perform your best if you don't get enough sleep at night."  
"U-um, Commander Levi, we don't have anything scheduled tomorrow..."  
Levi chuckled quietly. "Smart kid. You pay attention, at least."  
"T-thank you, sir." Eren croaked. The two of them spent a few seconds in silence, but to Eren it felt like eternity. He didn't know what to say- he didn't know what to do! If he was quiet, he was afraid Levi would think he was weird. But if he just walked away, Eren worried he would seem rude! Eren unconsciously fidgeted his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he had developed after the time of peace.

"Eren." Levi's voice cut through the silence, startling Eren.  
"Y-yes?!" He blurted, fidgeting uncomfortably.  
"Earlier, you said I intimidated you; is that really true?" Eren looked at his squad leader, who's face was contorted in a strange way. His eye brows were furrowed, and a deep sorrow filled his grey eyes. Eren felt a pang go off in his heart.  
This was the first time he'd seen Levi show his true emotions.

"Well? Is it?" Levi pushed further, a little more desperately this time.  
"I...uh..." Eren stood awkwardly. He felt trapped, not sure if he should lie or tell the truth. He felt extremely frustrated, like his heart was going to explode out of his chest. He felt sad and angry and claustrophobic, though he didn't know why. It was a simple question, one he should've been able to answer, but it hit him in a strange way he didn't understand. All he wanted was to run and hide.  
Levi just lowered his head. "Tch," he said through his teeth. "You brat- I'm going through hell because of you- I'm just... I'm getting whiplashed here."  
That was Eren's breaking point. "I'm sorry, sir," he croaked, turning and running toward the way he came. His eyes stung and his vision blurred. He was so tired of feeling hated and disliked by his own squad leader. If he hates me so much, Eren thought, why hasn't he just killed me yet?!  
Eren took a sharp turn into an alleyway between two buildings. It cut from one street to another, but the alley was blocked from the moonlight, so it was darker than the street. He leaned against the wall, covering his face as he sobbed. He felt like he was going soft- like he was turning into a baby because of a petty crush. And not just a crush, but a HOMOSEXUAL crush. He didn't understand why it was happening, and surely didn't want anyone else to know. Homosexuality wasn't exactly common- nor was it terribly supported- in the districts. He knew he had to keep it to himself, and he DEFINITELY couldn't tell Levi. But it was all just too much for Eren to handle. He had to take a break from pretending, and just cry. He sobbed silently into his hands, his breath shaky and unstable. His eyes hurt and burned from wiping and rubbing them clear of his tears, when suddenly he heard someone approach him from the street. He knew it was Levi. He didn't have to look up. He felt ashamed and vulnerable as he hid his face, even though he was sure Levi knew he was crying.

"Eren," Levi's voice sounded soft and stern at the same time, and it made Eren only want to cry more. His cold appearance and soft personality melted and broke his heart at the same time. "Eren, stop crying and stand up." Eren peeked from behind his hands to see Levi's strong, callused hand lowered down. Eren uncovered his eyes and looked at the hand, hesitant to take hold of it. "Come on, stand up," Levi repeated. Slowly and gingerly, Eren placed his own hand into Levi's, feeling an invisible, imaginary spark as his skin touched his commander's. Eren was pulled up onto his feet, and he wiped his eyes and nose again, his face cold from the tears being dried by the wind. His eyes burned and his nose was cold. He was sure he looked absolutely ridiculous. "Eren, look at me." Eren darted his eyes to meet Levi's, but immediately looked back down at his feet. "Eren, look at me." Eren felt Levi grab his chin and cheek with one hand, tilting it to make him look at Levi. It was strong, swift, gentle movement that startled Eren in a way he wasn't sure was good or bad. He looked reluctantly into Levi's hard, grey eyes, only to find them staring right back at his own. Eren felt embarassed and shy and vulnerable again, feeling his eyes on the bridge of bursting again. He didn't want to cry.

"Eren, I need you to listen to me very closely," Levi spoke quietly and firmly, showing he was serious and sympathetic. "I want you to tell me exactly what you think of me. Please, right now."  
"I-I... I'm not sure I can,"  
"Fine, then." Levi backed away. He let go of Eren, who felt a conflicting emotion between relieved and disappointed. "But tomorrow night, I want to to come over to my home, and we need to talk."  
"T-talk?" Eren asked.  
"Yes," Levi pointed at the wall Eren was leaning against. "This building, right here- the one you're leaning on- is where I've been staying the past couple of weeks. I want you to meet me here tomorrow night, and we need to talk about your strange behavior."  
"My strange behav-"  
"And if you don't show," Levi leaned in once again, inches from Eren's face. "I know where you're staying. I will come over personally and we will talk there, in front of your friends, who will also hear about what's been going on lately." Eren flushed, his eyebrows raising. _I definitely DON'T want that_, he thought. He sighed reluctantly.  
"Fine. Tomorrow night," he agreed.  
"Alright," Levi turned, walking out of the alley and to his front door. "I'll see you then, brat." Eren dazed off, watching him leave. After he heard Levi go inside, locking the door behind him, he slid gently down the wall, lowering to a sitting position. He gazed at the sky, blushing as the memories of what just happened swirled in his head.

Now he DEFINITELY wasn't going to get any sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren awoke to the sound of birds outside, the sun's harsh rays landing on top of his closed eyelids. Even though the window had curtains, they were light and almost transparent. He wondered why they even bothered having curtains if they didn't even work.  
Eren grunted as hi sat up, supporting himself with his elbows. He was surprised he got any sleep at all, considering the excitement of the previous night. It felt like it was a dream- a fantasy he had imagined. His eyes still felt heavy and raw from his heavy crying. He felt that lately he'd been having a lot more breakdowns lately, which he thought was slightly odd, even concerning. He didn't dare say anything to his friends. Mikasa, on one hand, would be way over-concerned and worried about something that was nothing. Armin, on the other hand, would go into some sort of logical downspiral to explain why Eren's emotions were getting the best of him. Armin and Mikasa were dear to him, this was true, but he didn't want them to worry. And he for sure didn't want them to know the awkwardness between him and Levi. He ESPECIALLY didn't want Mikasa to know. Mikasa was always so clingy and attached to Eren, acting like an older sister- a mother, even. But that thought always brought anger and sadness to him, so he pushed that last thought out of his head.  
He took off his blanket and stood up, seeing Mikasa's bed and Armin's bed empty. Eren changed out of the clothes he'd been wearing, and put on some new, fresh ones that were folded neatly at the foot of his bed. He didn't doubt they were put there by Mikasa.

As Eren made his way downstairs, he could hear Mikasa and Armin talking quietly. He wasn't even listening to the discussion between about who learned to read when, or something like that. Eren stepped onto the main floor of the house, walking across the wooden-paneled floor to the table Mikasa and Armin were seated at. He sat opposite sides of the table, Eren taking a seat at the end where he could see both of them.  
"Eren, good morning." Mikasa greeted. Eren replied with a slight nod, still slightly groggy from just waking up.  
"Oh, Eren, Commander Hange came by this morning asking to speak with you. But since you were still sleeping," Armin said. "I told her you'd meet her in the town square this afternoon." Eren sighed and laid his head on the table in defeat. What now? Eren sighed in frustration.  
"Um... Eren?" Armin stood, scooting his chair back and leaning over the table. "Is... Is something wrong?" Eren lifted his head, revealing a large, red mark on his forehead where his head landed on the table. "Gyah! Your forehead!" Armin rushed over to the sink to get a cold, wet washcloth. Mikasa sighed, bringing her hand to her temple.  
"Honestly..." She muttered. "What are we going to do with you?"  
"Shut up!" He cried as Armin hurried over with a dripping cloth. "I had a rough night, alright?" He snatched the washcloth from Armin and gingerly placed it onto his forehead. Mikasa and Armin gave each other a confused look. Armin sat back down slowly, eyeing Eren curiously.  
"Why? We all went to bed at the same time." Mikasa said.  
"I just... had some trouble sleeping."  
"That explains why you slept in, I suppose," Armin added, still unsure.  
"Well, it's nearly lunch already," Mikasa stretched her arms above her head, then dropped them onto the table. "Why don't we go into town together to get something to eat?" She pushed on the table as she scooted back, standing out of her chair. Armin smiled.  
"Yeah, okay." He agreed, standing up himself. Eren felt his stomach gurgle. He hadn't eaten since the previous night, and he was starving.

Eren felt bad for leaving Mikasa and Armin to entertain themselves, but when Eren noticed Hange, the two deided to leave him to his own devices. "She probably wants to speak with you in private," they had said. eren felt his forehead throbbing, as he had smacked it pretty hard on the table. "Maybe I overreacted a little," he muttered to himself as he made his way over to Hange. She was in her Survey Corps uniform, per usual, standing by a stand that sold fresh farm products. She turned her head and noticed Eren, then smiled and waved to him.  
"Eren! Good morning!" She called, then laughed. "Or afternoon, I suppose!" She smiled brightly, almost obnoxiously. Eren always thought Zoe's smile was bright and happy, but had the smallest psychotic undertone.  
Eren gave a crisp salute to Hange, though he wasn't in his uniform. "Good afternoon, Commander." Hange stopped mid-wave, taken a bit off guard. She then burst into a loud, deep, belly laugh. "Eren, relax! Cut the formality, I wanted to talk to you as... well, I guess as a friend. We're friends, right?" Eren's eyes widened, unsure how to respond as he lowered his arms.  
"Uh, I- I suppose..." Hange gave another belly laugh, smacking Eren on the back. Eren lurched forward in surprise, coughing a little.  
"Great! I'm glad!" She took Eren's shoulder, motioning him to follow her. "Sorry I caught you when you were still sleeping," she apologized. "But I know how important it is to get rest. You can't perform at you top quality if you're too tired!"  
"Commander Levi told me that, too." Eren added without even thinking. Zoe turned to him, her eyebrows raised.  
"Huh? When did he say that?"  
"U-uh..." Eren blushed profusely, not sure what to say. He didn't want to tell her about last night, but he already dug himself a hole. He couldn't dig any deeper, or there'd be trouble. "H-he just told me... a while ago. Maybe yesterday? I don't remember."  
"Hm, interesting," Zoe brushed off the subject, not really caring. "Anyways, I actually wanted to talk to you about Squad Leader Levi. What a coincidence!" Eren tensed as she spoke those words, suddenly becoming even more nervous than before. "Well, lately he's seemed a little bit... I don't know, tense. He's been even more distant than usual, if you can believe that." Eren looked to Zoe, who's face showed genuine worry and concern. "I don't know, maybe he's just mourning a little bit. That's pretty common for Squad Leaders. I do it too, after all."  
"Mourning?" Eren wondered out loud.  
"Of course," Hange said. "You know, us Squad Leaders feel responsible for our squad's deaths. We've lost a lot of troop members." For one of the first times ever, Eren saw Zoe's face turn grim and dark. "It's something we lug with us our entire lives. Levi's squad not only consisted of friends, but someone he loved very dearly. And he feels responsible for her death." Eren knew she was talking about Petra, and he felt his heart drop at the mention of the dead troops.  
"I guess I never realized how much it affected you guys..." Eren replied sadly.  
"That's why it's common for Squad Members to get emotionless. Levi's learned to not show emotion unless it's important to the situation." Eren remembered to the prior night when Levi asked him if he was really intimidated by Levi, and the look on his face; Eren still saw it clearly in his mind's eye."But I'm worried Levi's started blocking out emotions altogether, and I really don't want that. He's a dear friend to me, and I care very much about him and his well-being."  
"I see," Eren said softly.  
Hange stopped walking, grabbing Eren's shoulders in an intense, swift motion."So maybe you can visit him; try to cheer him up." Zoe looked into Eren's eyes, pleading. "Maybe you can go to his home, where he's been staying. Just talk to him, try to figure out what's bugging him." Eren flushed at her abrupt request, and partially at how ignorant she was to the situation.  
"You expect him to tell me?" Eren asked. "If he hasn't talked to you, what makes you think he'll tell me?" Hange stood up straight again, thinking.  
"I don't know what it is, but he has this... connection with you. Maybe it's because he's helped you; maybe it's because you've fought alongside him." Zoe shrugged "I don't know. But you two have this unspoken, natural bond and mutual trust. He may open up to you."  
It's almost funny, Eren thought, at how much she doesn't know. Eren sighed, pretending to be reluctant- acting like he wasn't planning on going already. "I could try, if you're that worried." Hange smiled and threw her arms up in joy.  
"Wonderful!" Hange cried out, making passer-byers stare in surprise and curiosity. "Thank you, Eren!" Hange gave Eren another smack on the back, but this time, Eren was ready for it. This time, Eren didn't even waver.

What am I going to do? Eren sighed as he entered his home that was shared with Mikasa and Armin. Mikasa was washing her scarf, and did a double take as Eren walked in.  
"Oh, Eren," Mikasa blurted, slightly embarassed. "What did Hange want? Is everything all right?" Mikasa hung the scarf up on a curtain rack over the sink.  
"Yeah," Eren sighed. "She just..." Eren wondered if he should tell her. He didn't want Mikasa getting hateful towards Levi, especially since she had a slightly bad attitude towards him. Even after he helped her rescue Eren from Annie's titan form, Mikasa still had a small, buried-deep hatred toward Levi that Eren couldn't figure out how to justify. He decided to take a leap. "She wanted me to meet with Commander Levi tonight," Eren said, being slightly vague. Mikasa appeared to cringe at Levi's name, but she shrugged it off.  
"Ah, I see." Mikasa said, sitting at a sofa that sat against a wall near the dining table. Eren gave a silent sigh of relief at her reaction.  
"Where's Armin?" Eren asked, suddenly curious at his other friend's whereabouts.  
"He's reading in the bedroom," Mikasa said, leaning back on the sofa. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees. "Eren, have I ever... Really told you how grateful I am?" Eren glanced at Mikasa, slightly surprised and taken off guard.  
"Hm? For what?" Eren walked over near Mikasa and sat next to her, leaning forward. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her worried, glum face.  
"F-for... For what you did for me... When we were younger?" Mikasa said quietly. Eren furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember. Then he realized she was talking about when Mikasa was being kidnapped. He widened his eyes in concern.  
"Huh? What brought that up?" Eren sat up, looking at her hunched-over body.  
"It's just the scarf. It always..." She trailed off, gently placing her hand at her collarbone, where the scarf usually sat. "Just, thank you, Eren. Thank you. I owe you everything, and-" She was cut off when Eren stood up abruptly, making his way over to the sink, grabbing the sopping-wet scarf that was hung at the window. He wrung it out as best as he could, getting most of the water out of it. Mikasa watched as Eren walked back over, wrapping the scarf around Mikasa's shoulders and neck. Without saying a word, Eren placed a hand on Mikasa's head, and for a brief second, they just stood there like that, silent, remembering that day when they saved each other's lives. Mikasa looked of to Eren, her heart filling with joy and sadness. She bolted up, hugging Eren, weeping silently into his shoulder. His body was so warm, and she just stood there, listening to his heartbeat and holding her brother. For a minute, she just felt absolute gratitude that her brother was alive and here. She never wanted him to leave her side. She felt Eren hesitate before awkwardly wrapping his own arms around her, hugging her. And just for a brief minute, the siblings stood there. They just hugged, grateful for each other and the mutual bond they had and always would share.  
"..Yeah." Eren said in response.

Those were all the words Mikasa needed.


	5. Chapter 5

Levi spent the entire day just vigorously cleaning his home. He wasn't even cleaning the make his house presentable- he was just scared shitless that the damn brat was coming over. He wondered how the night would play out- he was absolutely terrified about what Eren would say to him about how he really felt. He imagined Eren saying how much he feared Levi, even though Eren had said numerous times Levi simply intimidated him. Levi had this nagging desire for constant reassurance that he wasn't scaring Eren. He didn't know why it mattered so much to him- normally he actually wanted people to fear him. It helped prevent him from getting too attached to anyone. It helped him keep himself from getting hurt if he lost his friends. He really only had one friend, and she was annoying as fuck. She was CRAZY as fuck. Levi kept replaying the scene over and over in his head- Eren telling Levi off, shaking and not meeting his gaze. He knew it wasn't likely to happen, but he knew it wasn't impossible. Levi suddenly stopped cleaning the windows, realizing how pathetic he was being. He was obsessing and worrying over NOTHING. He had to keep reminding himself he invited Eren over, not the other way around. He wasn't looking to impress Eren, simply to talk about what was between them- or rather, find out what was going on between them. Levi sighed gently, putting down the rag and untying his bandana. _This is ridiculous_, he thought. _I'm acting like a damn fool_. He folded the rag and put it on top of his table, where a simple, white tea set sat. He looked outside to see the sun outside setting beneath the walls, an orange, pink and purple glow reflecting against the clouds that littered the sky. Eren was going to be coming over soon, and Levi needed to RELAX. He had a handle on things. He was the commander and he had to act like it.  
He needed to remember that.

Eren walked outside of his home, Mikasa and Armin calling their "see you later"'s. Eren felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. His Squad Leader invited him over to his house. Fear and Excitement fought inside his chest, both conflicting one another, pulling him in two different directions at the same time. It was NOT helping his nerves, added to the fact, that he didn't know how long he would be over there. Woudl it be a few minutes? Hours? All night? Eren blushed and covered his face at the thought of spending the night in Commander's home. He took a breath, leaning against a wall that was beside him. He wasn't even two blocks away from his house, and he was already getting flustered. How the hell was he supposed to make it through a whole NIGHT without passing out? He felt absolutely ridiculous for feeling so flustered and weak at a petty little visit. All Levi asked of him was to talk.  
About his feelings.  
I can't do this, Eren thought, sitting against the wall. _What the hell am I going to do? I feel so sick right now..._ Eren felt nauseous and dizzy. Why the hell was he so nervous? It made absolutely NO sense. He wondered if he was sick, and maybe he should stay home. He looked toward his house, which was only two buildings away from where he was sitting._ I'm so pathetic_, he sighed, lowering his head. _Maybe I just won't go_. Eren then recalled Levi's threat: "And if you don't show, I know where you're staying. I will come over personally and we will talk there, in front of your friends, who will also hear about what's been going on lately." Eren groaned, throwing his head back.

"I figured you'd be reluctant, but this is pathetic." A voice called from Eren's right. He turned to see a short-statured silhouette making its way toward him. "And that groan- that was absolutely ridiculous." Eren's shoulders hunched as Levi stood over him, arms folded. "Come on, get up." For the second time in 24 hours, a strong, callused hand was lowered before Eren's eyes. This time, however, Eren didn't hesitate to take the hand. As he was yanked up, the ground heaved from beneath Eren's feet, and his nerves caught up to him, causing him to fall toward his commander. Levi caught him, Eren's dizziness slowly fading as the blood caught up with his head. "Well shit, have you been drinking?" Levi teased. Eren blushed.

The two men sat across from one another at a table, a cup of tea placed before each of them. Levi stared intently at Eren, studying his body language. He was unaware, however, that Eren was doing the same. But Eren was slightly more obvious about his nerves. Levi, on the other hand, was totally unreadable. Hange was right, Eren noted. He's really good at hiding what he's thinking. The room was tense and full of an awkward, hesitant vide. Levi was, of course, the first to break the silence.  
"You're scared."  
"N-no, I'm not exactly scared..." Eren defended himself.  
"You're intimidated by me, then. Is that right?" Eren lowered his eyes, regretting he ever said that. _Of course not_, he thought to himself. _I'm completely entranced by him. But... of course I can't tell him that._  
"Yes."  
"Except that's a lie," Levi sighed, leaning forward. "Eren, what do you think of me?"  
"I..." Eren's entire face felt like it was completely on fire, and he was certain he was absolutely red. "I just... I can't."  
"Why not?" Levi pushed. "We can do this all night." Eren sighed, leaning his elbows on the table. He cradled his head in his hands in distress."Look, I know you're scared of me, but I don't want you to think-"  
"I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU!" Eren slammed his fists down on the table, causing the tea cups to shake, tea splashing onto the saucers. "I'm not, okay?! It's... Something else!"  
"Well, what is it?" Levi hadn't even flinched at Eren's outburst. He knew fully well how this night would probably play out. And of course, he was nervous. But he had trained himself to hide his emotions. That was how he kept his appearance. That's how he kept his distance. Eren laid his head on the table, resting it on his forearms. Levi recognized this activity- it was similar to a child's when they didn't want to do something they were being told to do. Eren was, quite literally, acting like a child. "Eren," Levi leaned on his elbows and folded his hands in front of him. "Please." Eren remained motionless, his head not moving from its spot on the table. Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. He lifted his cup of tea and took a drink, feeling both frustrated and the smallest bit nervous at the moments to come. He expected Eren's inevitable outburst, but now he didn't know what was going to happen. Sometimes Eren would shut down like this, this much was true. But he usually snapped himself out of it. But Eren was hiding something, and Levi wanted- no, NEEDED- to know what. It was driving him crazy, he admitted it to himself. He actually gave a shit about this brat, and he wasn't going to let the little shit get away with hiding something from his goddamn commander.

"Eren-"  
"Why do you care so much?" Eren blurted, bolting out of his chair. It tipped and fell backwards, clattering to the floor. Eren's chest rose and fell, obviously tense. His shoulders were hunched and his face was contorted into a mix of anger and... Something else Levi couldn't quite put his finger on. He noticed his hands were fidgeting again, and he automatically knew it meant Eren was nervous. Levi stood up too, stepping towards him. "Stop," Eren said, taking anonther step back. "Don't come near me."  
"I thought you weren't scared of me." He stepped toward Eren again.  
"I'm not!" Eren took another step back.  
"Then stop moving." Levi stepped forward.  
"YOU stop moving!" Eren stepped back.  
"No." Levi stepped forward once more.  
"Why are you-" Eren bumped into a wall, and felt his heart jump into his throat as Levi, once again, stepped toward him. Levi leaned forward to Eren, and he gave the smallest, barely visible smirk. Levi stared into Eren's emerald-colored eyes, searching them for some sort of explanation. He crossed his hands behind his back, leaning in to study Eren's face even more. Levi normally wouldn't invade someone's privacy this much, but there was something about the brat that made him feel... safe, but also a little bit vulnerable. Of course, his own heart quickened slightly being so close to him, but he ignored it. He squinted at Eren, who only flushed and darted his eyes away, turning his head slightly.

There was a long, tense silence that was spent staring at each other, both wondering what they would sayto the other.

"You love me, don't you?"  
"W-what?!" Eren tilted his head away from Levi. "No, of course I don't!" Levi grabbed Eren's chin and cheek with one hand, like he had done the previous night, and turned Eren's head to look at him.  
"That's why you've been acting so strange, isn't it?" Levi questioned. Eren tried to turn his face, but Levi's strength prevented him from breaking eye-contact. "That's why you've been so distant and flustered, isn't it?"  
"Well, what about you?" Eren pointed out. "Hange said you've been acting just as distant, showing even less emotion than before!"

He leaned in close to Eren, Levi's body pressed up against his chest. Their faces just inches apart, Eren could feel Levi's hot, steady breath on his neck, and he felt his heart quicken.  
"Looks like you got me," Levi teased. "I guess it's out in the open now." They stared at each other, feeling each other's breath. Levi felt his heartbeat quicken as he watched Eren's face turn bright red, knowing Eren was unsure what was going to happen next. But Levi knew exactly what he was going to do next; he knew deep in his mind what the next moments were going to bring.


	6. Chapter 6

Levi grabbed Eren's wrists and pressed them against the wall in a gentle, firm swing. Oh my God, Eren breathed. He felt like he was going to pass out just at Levi's touch. Eren stared at Levi's cold, distant eyes, and he noticed something schemeing beneath what seemed emotionless. He had opened his mouth to say something, but that's when Levi pressed his lips against Eren's, catching him off-guard. Eren's eyes widened and his heart nearly stopped from shock. But as their kiss went on, Eren felt his eyes close on their own. His fists went limp, letting his commander take over as their lips moved against one another's. Eren's heart relaxed, and his nerves plummeting into a deep trance. Levi let go of Eren's wrists, grabbing Eren's face gently. Eren's arms fell limp once Levi released them. His body felt like it would melt, and the only thing keeping him standing was the wall he leaned on and his Squad Leader's support against his body. Their breaths became simultaneous, their hearts seeming to harmonize together. Feeling the warmth of each other's body only excited them more, kissing deeper and stronger, becoming almost a battle of who leading the kiss; like a ballroom dance, the two of them fighting for the lead. Eren felt his arms raise and land on top of Levi's. Just the touch made him want to melt.  
Levi pulled away from Eren's lips, lowering to Eren's neck, kissing it softly. Eren's chin lifted in bliss at the gentle touch, his heart quickening with pleasure. Levi lowered his hands to Eren's waist, wrapping his arms around and pulling towards himself, bringing Eren even closer to him. Eren threw his head back as Levi pressed his lips higher up on his lover's neck, finding Eren's sweet spot. Eren was absolutely tranced, letting Levi take full control. He had wanted this for so long- this kiss, this moment- and he finally was able to express his love for his commander. He wondered how their future would play out, but he didn't care. The only thing that circled his mind was the love and pleasure he felt toward Levi in that moment. Levi lifted his lips, looking at Eren's dazed, blissful face. Eren's breath was short and deep, and Levi's hand crept up his back to touch his head. Eren's face lowered to look at him, wondering why the sudden halt. Levi gazed into his green, deep, entrancing eyes. Eren felt as though Levi was looking into him, and seeing all the emotions he had pent up for the past few weeks- maybe even months. He felt safe and secure in Levi's arms, and he gave a slight smile, his eyes watering.

"Commander Levi, I-"  
"I know," Levi said simply. He leaned in, whispering to Eren's parted lips. "I know." He gently kissed Eren again, holding him like he was going to float away into oblivion. Eren just held onto Levi's elbows, sometimes sliding his palm up the bicep and tricep in a tender way. He never thought this would be a reality, and he prayed that if it was a dream, he wouldn't wake up. Levi pulled away one more time to see Eren's pink cheeks curved into a shy, sad smile. His eyes were filled with tears, which Levi couldn't tell were from happiness or sadness.  
"I thought you hated me," Eren's voice shook as he held back his sobs.  
"So did I." Levi brushed Eren's bangs out of his face, staring at him for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. "So tell me- what do you really, truly think of me?" Eren closed his eyes, taking a breath.  
"I love you." Eren smiled. "I've liked you for a long time, but now I- I really, really do love you." Levi quickly backed away, covering his face with one hand. Eren could see his shoulders shaking, but Levi didn't utter a single cry. "Commander-"  
"Can you just... call me by my first name?" Levi's deep voice shook. Eren was taken aback by his sudden request, and he felt slightly embarrassed. "Please... call me by my name."  
"I'm not sure I-"  
"Eren, I'm giving you permission." He didn't lift his hand from his face. He was too ashamed. It was the first time in a very, very long time he had even shed a tear, and now he was being broken down just by Eren's words. He felt absolutely ridiculous.  
"Can I... see your face?" Eren asked quietly. Levi froze, not sure how to respond. They stood there, separated by an imaginary wall put up by Levi to keep his emotions hidden. He only cried into his hands, absolutely terrified of what he was becoming. Eren stepped toward his commander, holding his hands out in a welcoming way. "Please, I-"  
"Don't," Levi pleaded, stammering backwards. Eren gazed at him in pain, wanting only to show how much he cared. "Just- don't." Eren looked at the floor, working up the nerve.

"Levi." At the call of his own name, Levi dropped to his knees, hiding his hysterics. Eren hurried over to him, kneeling beside him. He held him, trying to console his sobs. Eren had never referred to Levi only by his first name, and it was an acquired habit he was going to have to form. He wasn't sure how to show his support and care, but he knew he had to do it somehow. "Levi, it- it's okay. I'm here." He held Levi's quivering shoulders, sliding his palm up and down the crying soldier's back. They sat like that for just a few moments as Levi got a hold of himself, being sure he was finished crying before he revealed his face.  
"Thank you." Levi wiped his eyes gently, being sure to erase the evidence of his meltdown. He felt like a child, crying like this. He never cried this much- not since Petra's death. Petra... Levi thought. He knew there was nothing he could do about it now, but it tugged at him to even think about her name. After what happened to Isabel and Furlan, he had grown into the habit of keeping his distance, trying not to form any meaningful relationships. But when he met Petra, he started to feel a new, deep, loving relationship with her. But after her death, his own emotions prevented him from feeling too much joy, even from everyday situations. The only thing that helped him get up in the day, he realized, was to see Eren. His whole life revolved around the stupid kid. His damn job revolved around looking after Eren, and he felt an attachment to him after a while. He had never thought that years later, he'd find himself here- crying on the floor after the same kid confessed his love to him. He was surprised by what the future could hold, sometimes.  
Levi shrugged Eren off, wiping his face one more time. He took a silent breath and finally lifted his face, allowing Eren to see him. They both stood slowly, silently. Eren stared at Levi's puffy, red, stone-cold eyes, and for a moment couldn't believe he just witnessed his commander crying. It wasn't that it was bad or anything, but it was more or less just simply... unexpected. Eren threw his arms around Levi, hugging him tightly.  
"Sorry," he muttered into Levi's shoulder.  
"For what?" Levi asked, prying Eren off of him.  
"I just- I made you cry."  
"The hell you did," Levi defended, still embarassed. But he looked over to see Eren looking deeply concerned. "You really think it's your fault?" Eren closed his eyes- his mouth quivering- a few tears of his own rolling down his cheeks. Levi sighed. "For fuck's sake, kid." Levi wiped Eren's tears and grabbed his cheeks. "Your fucking empathy is making me look like a softy." Eren opened his eyes, his brows lifted in sadness.  
"But I-"  
"Shut up," Levi grabbed Eren's hand, pulling him towards the stairs. "You're such a damn brat." Eren wiped his eyes in embarassment as Levi led him up the stairs and into his bedroom. Levi pulled him into the room, grabbing Eren's face and pulling him close. Once again, Eren could feel Levi's breath on his neck, and it only turned him on. "Now, say my name again."


	7. Chapter 7

The morning light gleamed in through Levi's bedroom window. Levi's eyes fluttered open, feeling the warm light touching his eyelids. There was a slight wind, billowing his light curtains in big, dreamy circles. There was a sepia tone in his room, and there was a slight chill in the wind. But he turned his head to see a mat of brown, shaggy hair sleeping next to him. Levi found his hands were wrapped around Eren's bare chest, and he could feel Eren's subtle muscles beneath the covers. Levi nestled his head into the wad of brown hair, and smelled Eren's familiar scent. He smelled warm and comforting, and also a little bit childish. Levi felt calm with Eren, which was strange, because he was usually so distant from everyone else. Why this kid made him so vulnerable was a mystery to him- he couldn't believe he was thinking this, but he loved this brat. He really, truly loved him. Levi wasn't sure what he would do if he ever died. He felt Eren's steady, sleeping breath, and watched his shoulders rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern. The previous night, as he recalled, didn't go as he had expected. He didn't think he'd end up fucking Eren, but lo and behold, here he was.

Eren suddenly shifted in his sleep, and Levi gently untangled his arms from Eren to let him roll over. He faced Levi, his eyes squinted as he slowly woke up. Levi brushed his hand over Eren's bangs, lifting them away from his lover's eyes. Eren's eyes slowly opened, the sunlight reflecting inside of his irises. Eren looked at Levi, starting to remember where he was. Eren gave a sleeping smile to him.

"Levi," Eren whispered.

"'Morning," Levi kissed Eren's forehead softly, and Eren flushed, smiling in embarrassment. "What's the deal? Why're you so shy this morning?" Eren nestled his head into Levi's neck, resting on him. He's so warm, Levi thought to himself. His arm wrapped around Eren's shoulder, and held him closer. Meanwhile, Eren had mixed emotions. Was this really what he thought it was? Levi could physically love Eren- and very well, he wasn't complaining about that- but Eren had doubts about whether or not it was love, or merely lust. Eren tilted his head to look at Levi, who was staring off into space, clearly deep in his own thoughts.

"Do you love me?" Eren asked after a while. Levi looked down at Eren in surprise. His face looked worried- even upset.

"Eh? Where'd that come from?" Eren flushed, not meeting Levi's eyes. Eren pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He grabbed his boxers that were strewn on the wooden floor, slipping them on to cover himself. "Eren, where are you going?" Levi sat up, feeling around for his own boxers. They were all the way on the floor. Eren just stood there, his shoulders tensed. His arms crossed, and he was shivering a little bit. "What the fuck?"

"Do you love me?" Eren repeated, turning to look at Levi. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he looked distressed. "Please, say that you do- and no lying!" Levi raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Of course I do," Levi assured him. "Otherwise I wouldn't have fucked you." Eren shook his head.

"No, I want you to say it," Eren stepped back, crossing his arms defensively. Levi threw back the blanket, uncovering his body. Eren flushed as Levi stood, getting closer to Eren. "Y-you're… um…" Eren looked to the side shyly. "You're not… you're nak-"

"Eren," Levi interrupted. He grabbed Eren's face with one hand and turned it to his own, looking Eren in his eyes. "Look me in the eyes." Eren closed his eyes tight, taking a breath before doing as he was asked. He looked into Levi's cold, silver eyes. They stood like that for a few seconds, but it seemed like forever. Eren wasn't used to making this much eye contact, and he felt fidgety and uncomfortable.

"Levi-"

"Shut up," Levi interrupted. "Eren, listen to me very carefully," Levi leaned in closer to Eren's face, as though he were about to kiss him. Eren's face was bright red, expecting to be kissed again. He felt his heart drop, knowing Levi was only going to be physical him, instead of giving him a genuine, heart-to-heart. He closed his eyes and started to cry. "Eren, I'm not using you. I swear I'm not. I don't just sleep around." Levi stared into Eren's eyes, not even blinking. Eren's tears slowly stopped as he listened. "You really think I would just fuck you for no reason? That's bullshit. Eren, you are the only person I want- you're the only person I need."

Eren pushed Levi away. He gave his heart and soul- even his body- to his commander, and he'd just felt as though he was only good for a good fuck. Eren started for the bedroom door, picking up his strewn clothes.

Levi called desperately, "Eren!" He didn't even acknowledge Levi. "Eren, I-"

"I love you, Levi." Eren's voice was shaking. "You can't even tell me you love me?"

"Because I don't want to-" Levi wasn't sure how to say it. He felt this fear that once he said those three words-those three little words- it would all be so real. And once it was real, he wouldn't want it to slip away. If Eren died, Levi wasn't sure he'd be able to move on. He's lost too many friends- too many lovers- and couldn't even imagine losing Eren. But if he lost him before he had a chance to say how he felt… That scared him even more. Eren turned and looked at Levi, waiting for him to explain himself. Eren could clearly see that Levi was having trouble speaking his mind. But Eren glanced down and saw-

Eren glanced away, blushing. He reached down to the floor, grabbing Levi's boxer shorts. He held them out shyly, his face bright red. Levi walked over to Eren, swatting the shorts away.

"Eren, I fucking love you," Levi confessed. Eren turned back to him. "I love you so much, Eren. I just- if you were ever killed in battle," Levi grabbed Eren's shoulders tightly, pleading for his belief. "I don't know if I can keep losing people. I've lost so many squad members, and I can't- I can't lose anyone else. If I lost you, I don't know I would be able to keep my sanity- what's left of it, anyway." Eren and Levi stood there for the longest time, both trying to think about what to say next. Neither of them even knew what to feel at that point. Eren sighed with relief. "Do you want me to say it again?" Eren giggled softly and nodded, crying slightly.

"Please just- just one more time."

"Eren," Levi tilted his face, leaning in close. He leaned into his ear and whispered gently, "I love you. I love you so much." Eren gave a sob, covering his face as Levi hugged him. Levi just kept repeating himself over and over, "I love you, I love you, I love you." Each time consoled Eren a little more. He hadn't heard those words in a long time- even from his sister. Hearing it just made him feel so insecure and secure at the same time. He could feel his heart warming with joy as Levi held him, stroking his soft brown hair as he sobbed into Levi's bare shoulder. "Now you have to say it again," Levi said once Eren stopped crying. Eren looked up at Levi, one eyebrow raised. Levi wiped Eren's tears gently.

"Huh?" Eren looked at Levi in confusion.

"You have to tell me now." Levi teased, tapping Eren's nose. "I've said it a million times. You better say it, or I'll kiss your neck until you do." Eren laughed, holding Levi's hand to his cheek.

"I love you," Eren wept. "I love you, I love, I love you…" Levi kissed Eren, holding his face gently. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's shoulders, suddenly not feeling so shy about Levi's naked-ness.


	8. Chapter 8

Eren unlocked and opened the door to him home quietly. The sun was still low in the horizon- it must have still been a bit early in the morning. He wasn't sure how Mikasa or Armin would react once Eren got home. He walked in to see Mikasa strewn across the couch and Armin lazing in the chair. They were both fast asleep. Had they waited up all night for him? He felt bad, just then. He realized he hadn't even told them when he'd be back. They were obviously expecting him to be back within an hour, and here he was, coming back the next morning, and he had... He'd had sex with Levi. He blushed just thinking about it. The way Levi was so soft and gentle, but just at the right moment he'd-

"Eren?" A voice called out sleepily. Eren saw Armin rubbing his eyes, his blonde mat of hair messy from sleeping in a strange position. "Where have you been?"

"Uh..." Eren stuttered as Mikasa slowly rose, her own hair messy as well. Her scarf was still around her neck. What was he suppose to tell them? He imagined if he explained what had actually happened:

"Levi and I... we confessed our love to each other and-" No way. No way would he be able to say that. He knew it was too soon- they didn't really know their relationship to the full extent that it actually was. If he told them, there was any number of reactions they could have. He couldn't imagine all of them- it scared him just to think of the worst case scenario.

"Eren?" Mikasa asked, looking at him. They were both expecting an answer, and he'd been standing there quietly for too long- they could tell he was nervous. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Eren replied finally. "Sorry for making you guys stay up all night."

"Did you spend the night at Commander's house?" Armin wondered.

"Um... yeah, I kind of-"

"What in the world did you two talk about all night?" Mikasa looked at Eren, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"We just... we discussed things." Eren said slowly, picking each word very carefully.

"Were you discussing tactics?" Armin guessed.

"No," Eren said, finally finding an answer that was both vague and honest. "He just wanted to talk to me. He was worried, I guess, for some reason."

"Really?" They both responded. Eren closed the door and walked over to them, standing awkwardly.

"Yeah," he answered. "He thought that I've been acting weird. He wanted to know what was going on."

"That's odd," Mikasa muttered to herself. Eren, fidgeting nervously, hoped they would believe his lie. He didn't want to lie, but he wasn't sure they'd be very accepting of the situation. It wasn't very common for homosexuality to happen within the walls- not only were they closed off from the world, but the people were closed-in, as well. They didn't always have an open mind.

"You spent the whole night talking?" Armin asked in relative disbelief. "You didn't even sleep?"

"I guess," Eren said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, we had a couple pots of tea... We just had a quiet night in, I guess." Armin and Mikasa relented, ceasing with their queries. They seemed content with Eren's answers, and went about to getting themselves out of their old clothes and ready for the new day. But even though he wanted them to know, Eren knew Mikasa and Armin could react any number of ways, and he wasn't ready to find out which reaction they would have. Especially with Mikasa; she was always so protective of Eren, and while he was happy to have his sister care so much about him, she sometimes went a bit overboard.

Maybe someday he would tell them the truth. He and Levi agreed to be serious, and they were committed to each other. But until he was ready, Eren would wait to tell them. For now, it was just going to be a quiet night.

It was just a night in.


End file.
